Alright, so there I was, just minding my own business when, wham! UFO 50 finally decides to pop up on the Nintendo Switch. It’s like they’d been holding their breath for a year and then just kind of sneezed it out during some Indie Showcase thing. Seriously, no fanfare. Just boom. There it is. Anyway, it’s like a retro fever dream crammed into a little cartridge—50 different 8-bit games packed into one, ready to hitch a ride with you wherever you go. If anyone asks me, it’s pretty much begging for attention from every Switch owner out there.
And me? I’ve been knee-deep in UFO 50 land since it dropped. Almost 100 hours (no life, much?) on my Steam Deck, bickering endlessly with buddies over which game’s the best. It’s like everyone’s got a secret favorite, and when you spill the beans on yours, it basically turns into a personality test. Kooky, right?
So, here’s the deal. What you’re into in UFO 50? Oh, it says loads about you. I’ve poked, prodded, and dissected each game, and I’m telling you—I can psychoanalyze you within an inch of your life all based on your pick. Science, or maybe witchcraft, I dunno. Whatever. Haven’t taken your dive yet? Think of this little piece as a treasure map, marked for you by the “chronological” order of the games. It’s foolproof… maybe.
Anyway, here’s a breakdown, just for kicks:
Barbuta: You’re that mysterious type, always talking about these obscure old PC games. They’re out there somewhere, you swear, but Google sure doesn’t think so.
Bug Hunter: Ever since Into the Breach rocked your world, you’ve basically become the indie game hype-person no one asked for but absolutely needs.
Ninpek: Family gatherings? Who cares. Sneaking to the basement to play NES? Now we’re talking.
Paint Chase: Those satisfying soap-crushing videos on social media? Yeah, you linger a bit longer than you’d like to admit.
Magic Garden: Ever been called a “casual gamer”? Surprise, you’ve logged a century’s worth of hours on Puyo Puyo.
Mortol: Into death as a concept but more like the edgy, misunderstood Donnie Darko kind of way.
Velgress: Metroid fan’s fan, you’ve got a hot take on the OG Metroid franchise you’ll defend to the grave.
Planet Zoldath: Love saying "hard sci-fi" even if the meaning’s kinda murky in your mind.
Attactics: Caught in the Roman Empire meme crossfire? Of course, you have an opinion.
Devilition: A Salem witch trials buff living in Massachusetts, always ready to show off your spooky knowledge.
Kick Club: You’re the coolest history geek, constantly bringing Taito into modern-day gaming chats.
Avianos: You know those “X’s” in "4X strategy"? It’s child’s play, really.
Mooncat: I mean, you’re doing LSD like, this week.
Bushido Ball: Remember Shogun, but now Yojimbo is, what?
Block Koala: “Sokoban”—it’s more than just a word; it’s a lifestyle.
Camouflage: You’re the puzzle-solving champ who sometimes comes with a secret walkthrough guidebook.
Campanella: The thrill of threading a needle puts you on a different planet.
Golfaria: Ever intellectualized your golf habit even if you barely hit the driving range? Yup.
The Big Bell Race: Two-hour movies? Hard pass.
Warptank: Torn between loving tanks and hating war? Your internal debates must be epic.
Waldorf’s Journey: Into Adventure Time? No surprise there.
Porgy: July 4th, Jaws. It’s a thing.
Onion Delivery: Gross-out humor’s your jam. Wario, your style icon.
Caramel Caramel: Art. Nothing more, nothing less.
Party House: Board game night is your battleground, and TIL everybody has a manual.
Hot Foot: Middle school gym? Your glory days. Peak achieved.
Divers: You’re the marine biologist who also gets down with Jaws every Independence Day.
Rail Heist: Any room could be a stealth mission prep zone; you’ve got weapon-utilizing skills.
Vainger: Power-ups and robots define your gaming tradition.
Rock On! Island: Sneaky visits to Addicting Games on school PCs? Totally rebel.
Pingolf: Minigolf is date night genius. Keeps the vibes on par.
Mortol II: Turning games into intellectual conversations—just your average day, huh?
Fist Hell: Let’s be honest, They Live and RoboCop are not just movies; they’re cinematic gospel.
Overbold: Can’t say no to doubling down at the card table, even if the odds are laughing.
Campanella 2: Love those marble maze toys? That explains a lot.
Hyper Contender: Every platform fighter isn’t Smash—prove it with insane moves nobody can master.
Valbrace: Easy pick, your quirks are showing.
Rakshasa: A vocal non-believer casually wishing reincarnation is the real deal.
Star Waspir: Shmups. That’s it. You and them. Forever.
Grimstone: Bought UFO 50 for a single Dragon Quest nod. Cue the YouTube documentary.
Lords of Diskonia: Pogs, Beyblades… correctly played them? Who needs rules?
Night Manor: Sold on Shudder? No one else is, apparently.
Elfazar’s Hat: Magician-in-hiding, I see. Perfect timing reveal, too.
Pilot Quest: Multitasking wizard at work, gaming maestro in secret.
Mini & Max: You’re the ray of sunshine in this flawed world. Stay golden.
Combantants: Bug eater? You do you.
Quibble Race: Sports betting? Remember when hockey used to air? Right. Adjust priorities, perhaps?
Seaside Drive: Miami’s your dream city, thanks to Vice City. Keep dreaming, buddy.
Campanella 3: Star Tours—bucket list wonder.
Cyber Owls: Bird-watching expert, with a dab of misidentification.
And there you have it! UFO 50’s like that old-school mixtape that brings out different vibes in each listener—and gamers are no different. Each game’s got a little something-something just for you. Dive in, or don’t—no pressure.
