I dove into Doom: The Dark Ages for lore, but only found a blood-soaked experience.

Can you believe it? I decided to dive into Doom: The Dark Ages, thinking it’d be the perfect way to jump into the whole Doom universe. You know, a prequel seems like a good starting point, right? I’ve always loved those fast-paced shooters, but somehow Doom wasn’t on my playlist. Well, except for that hilariously bad 2005 movie — gotta love that absurd first-person scene. So, here I am, taking on the origin story of Doomguy, all set to chew through the plot and bash my way through demons.

After about 10 hours and 22 chapters of pure chaos, I’ve realized something — it’s a hot mess. Seriously. But, does it really matter? Nah. We’ve got demons to deal with.

In this scenario, you play as the Slayer. He’s like… the ultimate demon slayer, way beyond the ordinary soldiers. Why is he so good? Who cares! Demons everywhere!

Doomguy’s hanging out with these alien dudes called the Maykrs — they kinda keep him locked away until he’s needed. Reminds me of The Winter Soldier, if you think about it. He’s in this spaceship just watching the chaos below, until he’s called up for demon-stomping duty.

At the start, before he breaks loose, he’s basically "rented" out to these humans battling against Hell’s armies. Or are they aliens? I mean, where even is this place? Doesn’t really matter when there’s a demon right there to blow away.

Doomguy then shows everyone how it’s done, slaying countless demons — like, who even keeps count anymore? And sometimes, get this, he’s just jumping off high places and smashing baddies. Honestly, that’s just epic in my book. There’s some storyline about protecting a MacGuffin from a really bad dude… or demon, or whatever. Definitely lost track, but who’s keeping score? You’re too busy with chainsaw shields and piloting those mech suits to ask questions.

The plot won’t win any awards, for sure. But gameplay? That’s a different story. Parrying and melee attacks mix things up, giving you endless ways to dispatch enemies. And when you’ve managed to upgrade all your gear, especially when you get that BFC — yup, Big Freakin’ Crossbow (real name, no joke) — you become this demon-wrecking force of nature.

Sure, the storyline’s a bit who-gives-a-damn, but by the end, you absolutely feel the terror Doomguy strikes into those demon hearts. He’s unbeatable, taken over the Maykr ship, turning it into his own little demon-killing HQ. Doomguy amounts to hell’s worst nightmare, their hardcore enemy, like John Wick when someone messed with his dog. He’s relentless, tearing through demons across space. But wait, why’s he doing all this again?

Oh right… because it’s damn fun to obliterate things with a chainsaw shield.